Surviving a Monster


Cassie, a talented singer and model, captured the spotlight for her work in the entertainment industry. However, her life took a dark turn when she was allegedly assaulted by P. Diddy, a prominent figure in the music world. The incident shocked the public and sparked widespread discussions about power dynamics and abuse in the entertainment industry. Cassie bravely spoke out about her experience, shedding light on the issue of abuse and harassment. Her courage in sharing her story empowered others to speak up and seek justice. The incident served as a reminder of the importance of standing up against abuse in all its forms. While many are currently living with “ A Monster” and may really not know the signs.


There are specific signs of a Monster and please note that a Monster is NOT A MALE ONLY….women can be Monsters TOO. Both men and women can exhibit the characteristics below:

Checklist of Signs of a Domestic Monster:
1. Jealousy and Possessiveness: The abuser may display excessive jealousy and control over your actions, relationships, and activities.

2. Controlling Behavior: They may try to control your every move, including who you see, where you go, and what you do.

3. Isolation: The abuser may isolate you from friends, family, and support networks, making you dependent on them for emotional support.

4. Verbal Abuse: This includes insults, name-calling, humiliation, and constant criticism designed to erode your self-esteem.

5. Physical Violence: Any form of physical harm or violence, including hitting, pushing, slapping, or any other physical aggression.

6. Threats and Intimidation: The abuser may use threats of violence, harm to loved ones, or destruction of property to control you.

7. Financial Control: They may control your finances, restrict your access to money, or sabotage your employment opportunities.

8. Gaslighting: Manipulative tactics to make you doubt your own perceptions, memory, and sanity.

9. Blaming: The abuser may shift blame onto you for their actions or behavior, making you feel responsible for their abusive conduct.

10. Cycle of Violence: The abuser may follow a cycle of tension-building, explosion of abuse, and reconciliation or remorse, creating a pattern of abuse.

11. Minimizing or Denying Abuse: They may downplay or deny the abuse, making excuses for their behavior or shifting responsibility.

12. Manipulation and Guilt-Tripping: Using emotional manipulation and guilt to control your actions or decisions.

13. Forced Sexual Acts: Coercing or forcing you into sexual acts without your consent.

14. Threats of Suicide or Homicide: Using threats of self-harm or harm to others as a form of control.

15. Extreme Mood Swings: Rapid shifts in behavior from charming and loving to aggressive and volatile.


It's important to remember that domestic violence can take many forms and may not always be obvious. If you recognize any of these signs in your relationship or someone you know, seek help and support from trusted individuals, organizations, or professionals. No one deserves to live in fear or endure abuse, and help is available to assist you in breaking free from the cycle of violence.

Building a safety plan is crucial for individuals in abusive relationships to protect themselves and plan for their safety in case of emergencies. Here are steps to create a safety plan:

1. Identify Safe Spaces:
- Determine safe areas in your home where you can go in case of violence, such as a room with a lock or a neighbor's house.
- Identify safe locations outside the home, such as a nearby shelter, friend's house, or public place where you can seek refuge.

2. Emergency Contacts:
- Compile a list of emergency contacts, including trusted friends, family members, and local authorities.
- Memorize important phone numbers or keep them in a safe and easily accessible place.

3. Code Word or Signal:
- Establish a code word or signal with trusted individuals that indicates you are in danger and need help.

4. Essential Documents and Resources:
- Keep important documents such as identification, passport, birth certificate, financial records, and any legal documents in a safe place or with a trusted person.
- Pack a bag with essential items like clothing, medication, important documents, keys, and money in case you need to leave quickly.

5. Safety at Home:
- Avoid rooms with potential weapons or areas where you can be trapped.
- Plan escape routes and practice them to ensure you can leave the home quickly and safely.

6. Children and Pets:
- Develop a plan for your children's safety, including where they can go in case of an emergency.
- Ensure the safety of pets by planning for their care if you need to leave the home.

7. Communicate Safely:
- Be cautious when communicating with the abuser and consider using a safe phone or computer to seek help or gather information.
- Document instances of abuse, including dates, times, and details, if safe to do so.

8. Seek Support:
- Reach out to local domestic violence hotlines, shelters, or support groups for guidance and assistance in creating a safety plan.
- Share your safety plan with trusted individuals who can support you in implementing it.

9. Practice Self-Care:
- Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by engaging in self-care activities and seeking counseling or therapy.
- Stay connected with supportive friends and family members who can provide emotional support during difficult times.

10. Reassess and Update:
- Regularly review and update your safety plan to address any changes in your circumstances or the abuser's behavior.
- Stay informed about available resources and support services in your community.

Remember, your safety is the top priority. If you are in immediate danger, call emergency services or a local domestic violence hotline for assistance. You are not alone, and help is available to support you in creating a path to safety and healing.

We must celebrate Cassie as she has moved from being a Survivor to being a Thriver! She has summoned the courage to tell her truth. Please note Many people DID NOT believe her and she received lots of negative backlash. She stood on her truth and the moment the video was released so many people retracted their negative statements.

Characteristics of a Survivor
1. Endurance: Survivors have the strength and resilience to endure the hardships and trauma of abuse.

2. Coping Mechanisms: They may rely on coping mechanisms such as dissociation, denial, or numbing to survive the abuse.

3. Fear and Anxiety: Survivors may experience fear, anxiety, and hypervigilance as a result of past trauma.

4. Self-Protection: They prioritize safety and self-protection as a way to survive and navigate abusive situations.

5. Survival Mode: Survivors may operate in "survival mode," focusing on getting through each day and managing immediate threats.

6. Emotional Scars: They may carry emotional scars and wounds from the abuse, impacting their self-esteem and mental well-being.

7. Isolation: Survivors may struggle with feelings of isolation and disconnection from others due to the trauma they have experienced.

8. Limited Belief in Future: They may struggle to envision a positive future or believe in their ability to thrive beyond the abuse.


Characteristics of a Thriver
1. Resilience: Thrivers demonstrate remarkable resilience and strength in overcoming the effects of abuse.

2. Healing and Growth: They actively engage in healing and growth processes, such as therapy, self-care, and personal development.

3. Empowerment: Thrivers reclaim their power and agency, refusing to be defined by past abuse or trauma.

4. Self-Awareness: They have a deep sense of self-awareness, understanding their triggers, boundaries, and needs.

5. Positive Mindset: Thrivers cultivate a positive mindset, focusing on gratitude, self-love, and optimism for the future.

6. Healthy Relationships: They prioritize building healthy relationships based on trust, respect, and mutual support.

7. Community and Support: Thrivers seek out community and support networks to foster connection, healing, and growth.

8. Purpose and Meaning: They find purpose and meaning in their experiences, using their journey to inspire and empower others.


Thrivers undergo a transformational journey, turning their pain into strength, their wounds into wisdom, and their past into a source of resilience and empowerment.

While survivors demonstrate incredible strength in surviving abuse, thrivers go a step further by actively engaging in healing, growth, and empowerment processes to not only survive but thrive beyond the trauma. Both paths are valid and deserving of recognition and support. If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of abuse, remember that help, healing, and hope are available.

National Domestic Violence Help Line 800-799-7233
Michigan Domestic Violence Hotline 866-864-2338

By Dr. Sabrina Jackson: Beautiful Machine Magazine Contributor, known as the People Expert, as she helps people with people, even if that person is themselves, creator of Essential Colors, DEI Expert, Author, and TV Personality. Watch on Fox 2 Detroit weekly for Mental Health Mondays & #AskDrSabrina. For More Information visit