Jealous or Justified is a monthly segment where we ask our readers to analyze the situation of someone who has asked for our help to see if the person is being Jealous or are they Justified in feeling the way they feel.

Please keep in mind that the term “Jealous” can mean many things in the context of this segment. It doesn’t and won’t always mean jealous in its true meaning. Perhaps the person is just in their feeling a bit too much.


Hello Beautiful Machine, I need your help.

I married a woman I don't trust anymore. When we were dating, she always played a particular singer's music. She knew all the words and even had all of his music. She kept all the concert tickets from his concerts and talked about him fondly, but only as a fan.

She has been a very positive addition to my life. I love her very much and was looking forward to a long life with her. As our relationship got stronger, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. I was so happy.

As we planned the wedding, I thought it would be an amazing surprise if I got her favorite singer to come as a surprise and sing her favorite song to us at the wedding. He had the perfect song; it was going to be wonderful (you know this was a HUGE mistake!).

After doing a lot of research, I finally found out how to book him for the wedding. It wasn't cheap, but it was going to be worth it, so I did it for $30,000. She was going to be so happy.

It was our wedding day, and it was very hard keeping his performance a secret. We planned the sound check very early before anyone would be at the venue. I was very excited when he arrived for the sound check.
He was a great guy. He asked me some questions about how we met and what were some things that were special about her. He seemed a little weird when he asked me if he could see a picture of her, and when I showed him the picture, it was like he saw a ghost.

He immediately said, 'I'm sorry, I can't do it. I know your fiancée; we have a personal connection.' Come to find out, he and my fiancée had been an intimate relationship for the last five years!

He said he only saw her when he came to town and that it was purely a sexual thing. I asked him when was the last time they were together, and he told me it was about a year and a half ago when he performed at a jazz festival in California.

After doing some backtracking, I realized that when I proposed, she said yes but wanted to wait until she got back from her girls' trip to California before she put the ring on (ouch!). She told me she was excited but wanted to clear her mind and come back from vacation ready to be my future wife. Now I know she went to have sex with him.

To make sure he was telling me the truth, I asked for proof. He showed me pictures of the two of them together.

Obviously, I agreed that he shouldn't perform, and he agreed to refund my money. What should have been the greatest day of my life became the hardest day. I went ahead with the wedding, and I had to pretend that everything was OK. A mountain of emotions was swirling around in my head.

We've been married for eight months now, and I don't trust her. I haven't said anything about what I know. Ironically, she doesn't play his music in our home anymore. That actually helps because, if I hear him sing one more time, I might lose it.

I'm seriously thinking about ending my marriage. Should I tell her what I know and try to save our marriage? Or do I just make peace with the fact she chose me? I could let her know what I learned. That either blows everything up or allows her to prover her commitment to me. Part of me feels betrayed, why did she feel, when she was with me that she had to say 'goodbye' to him that way?

Beautiful Machine, I need your help.

Jealous or Justified?