Every generation has trends that make perfect sense… until they don’t. Somewhere along the way, cool packed its bags and left, but some people never got the memo. Here are a few things we think deserve to be retired immediately.
Wearing Jordan 1s With a Suit
We get it. Ten years ago this look turned heads. The first few guys who did it looked original. Today? It looks like you got dressed in the dark and couldn’t find your dress shoes. Jordans are classics. Suits are classics. They don’t need to be forced into a relationship.
Relationship Podcasts
Every week it’s another battle of the sexes hosted by people who can’t seem to keep a relationship together themselves. Everybody’s exposing somebody. Nobody’s learning anything. If your relationship advice comes from people who specialize in breakups, drama, and viral clips, don’t be surprised when your love life starts looking like their comment section.
Internet Experts
Social media has convinced people they know celebrities personally. Somehow a guy sitting in his mother’s basement has a thirty-minute breakdown explaining why Jay-Z made a business decision, even though he’s never been within a hundred feet of Jay-Z. Confidence has replaced credibility, and that’s becoming a real problem.
Fast Food
At this point, you’re not confused. You’re committed. We know what’s in it. We know what it does to our bodies. We know there are healthier choices almost everywhere. If you’re still making fast food a lifestyle, that’s between you and your cardiologist.
Walking Around Smelling Like Marijuana
Smoke if you want. That’s your bus iness. Making everybody else participate isn’t. Walking into a restaurant, grocery store, airport, or family gathering smelling like you just left a hotboxed garage isn’t freedom. It’s bad manners. Cologne and soap are still available.
Being Fashionably Late
Who started this lie? Being late isn’t cute. It doesn’t make you important. It doesn’t make you mysterious. It tells everybody waiting that your time matters more than theirs. If you’re always thirty minutes late, you’re not busy. You’re inconsiderate. The rest of us have lives too.
Taking Pictures of Every Meal
Your fries don’t need a photo shoot. Neither does your chicken sandwich. If your date finishes eating before you’ve found the perfect filter, don’t be shocked when there’s no second date. Sometimes the best way to enjoy dinner is to actually eat it while it’s hot.
Being Proud of Being “Unfiltered”
No, you’re not brutally honest. You’re just rude. There’s a difference. People who constantly announce they’re “unfiltered” usually expect everyone else to tolerate behavior they’d never accept themselves. Class never goes out of style. A lack of self-control never comes into fashion.
The older we get, the more we realize that real cool has nothing to do with trends. It’s about being considerate, confident, healthy, and self-aware. Everything else eventually ends up where it belongs, in the bargain bin of bad ideas.
