Once upon a time, if a woman wanted to find love, she went to church, accepted a setup from a friend, or accidentally met someone in the produce section while comparing cantaloupes.
Today, she downloads a dating app.
Three days later she has matched with a man whose profile says he is “an entrepreneur,” whose only visible assets are a leased BMW and a collection of fitted hats, and whose opening line is, “Hey beautiful.”
Needless to say, some women have decided there has to be a better way.
Increasingly, a growing number of Western women are finding that better way thousands of miles from home. Travel writers and social observers have documented an increasing number of women traveling to African nations such as Kenya, Senegal, Gambia, and Morocco in search of romance, companionship, excitement, and yes, if social media and travel blogs are to be believed, a proper wienering.
Let’s be clear. Most women who travel to Africa are going for the continent’s extraordinary beauty, remarkable wildlife, rich history, vibrant cities, and diverse cultures.
The lions, however, are apparently not the only attraction.
Many women who have vacationed in Africa describe local men as attentive, affectionate, confident, stylish, and refreshingly old fashioned. They speak of men who actually call when they say they will call. Men who compliment them. Men who plan dates. Men who seem genuinely delighted to spend time with them.
For some women accustomed to modern dating, this can feel less like a vacation and more like a religious experience.
After years of ghosting, breadcrumbing, situationships, and grown men who still live with their mothers “temporarily,” some women have decided that love abroad may not be such a bad idea after all.
One traveler interviewed by a British publication famously remarked, “I came for the safari and left with a fiancé.”
That may sound funny, but it highlights a real trend.
Many of the women involved are divorced, widowed, or simply dissatisfied with dating in their home countries. Some are seeking companionship. Some are seeking adventure. Some are seeking validation. Some are seeking things that cannot be printed in a family newspaper.
Critics argue that these relationships often involve complicated economic realities. Significant financial disparities can exist between tourists and local residents, raising questions about power, motivation, and whether romance and economics can ever truly be separated.
Supporters respond that adults are perfectly capable of making their own decisions and that genuine love can emerge anywhere.
The truth, as usual, lies somewhere in the middle.
Not every woman traveling to Africa is looking for romance, and not every African man is auditioning for a role on reality television. Many relationships that begin during travel develop into lasting marriages and families.
Still, the phenomenon reveals something important about modern relationships.
When people are willing to spend thousands of dollars, endure eighteen hours of air travel, and obtain multiple vaccinations in pursuit of affection, perhaps the issue is not geography. Perhaps many people have simply grown tired of modern dating.
Or perhaps some women have concluded that if Prince Charming does exist, he may be waiting on another continent.
Whatever the reason, passports are being renewed, flights are being booked, and somewhere in suburban America, a recently divorced woman is explaining to her friends that she is “traveling for the culture.”
And she very well may be.
Just not the culture they think.
