WHAT DOES JEALOUS OR JUSTIFIED MEAN?

In this feature, jealous does not always mean jealousy in the usual sense. It can simply mean that you disagree with the reader’s feelings or point of view. Justified means that you believe the reader has a good reason to feel the way they do. Read the letter and decide for yourself. Is the reader jealous or justified?

I Am Falling in Love With a Man Who Cannot Read

Each month, a reader shares a personal situation and asks Beautiful Machine readers to offer their opinions. Names and certain details may be changed for privacy.

Dear Beautiful Machine,

I am a successful businesswoman with an advanced college degree. I have worked hard to build my career, my reputation, and the life I enjoy. The men I normally date are college educated. Most are entrepreneurs or professionals with office careers. Education, intelligence, and ambition have always been important to me.

Several months ago, I met a man who was completely different from the men I usually date. He owns a construction business and is successful in his own right. He is hardworking, resourceful, and very good at what he does. He treats me well and has qualities I have not always found in men with impressive degrees and job titles.

As we spent more time together, my feelings for him became stronger. The truth is, I have almost fallen in love.

Everything changed one evening when we went to dinner. He had trouble pronouncing several words on the menu. Later, he admitted that he does not know how to read.

I was stunned.

I asked how he operates a successful business without being able to read contracts, estimates, measurements, or instructions. He explained that his assistants help him. He has worked in construction for so long that he has developed his own methods. He also limits himself to jobs that he knows he can handle.

Since that conversation, I have felt disappointed, confused, and embarrassed. I am afraid to bring him around my friends because I worry they will notice or judge him. I also wonder if his inability to read could eventually affect our relationship or cause serious problems in his business.

Part of me feels terrible for thinking this way. He is a good man who has managed to become successful despite facing an enormous obstacle. Another part of me feels that I worked too hard to build my life and reputation to be with someone who cannot read.

I care deeply for him, but I am seriously considering ending the relationship.

Beautiful Machine readers, am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I look beyond his inability to read and focus on the man he is? Or am I justified in believing that the differences between us are simply too great?

Conflicted Kim

What Do You Think?

Is Kim jealous or justified?