Dear Beautiful Machine,
I need your readers’ perspective on something that has caused real tension in my relationship. I’ve been dating a man for several months now, and things had been going well—we were close, connected, and yes, intimate. But recently, he noticed something that I honestly hadn’t even thought about in years: a tattoo of another man’s name on my body.
To be clear, this tattoo is old history. It was done long before I ever met him, and I don’t have feelings for the person whose name it is. In fact, the relationship that inspired the tattoo ended ages ago. I’ve lived with this ink for so long that I barely notice it anymore—it’s just part of my skin. I always planned to get it removed one day, but it was never urgent for me because it truly doesn’t mean anything to me now.
When he saw it, though, he totally freaked out. He accused me of hiding something, said it was disrespectful to our relationship, and even implied that I should have removed it before we ever got serious. Things escalated into a heated argument, and we said some very nasty things to each other. Now, we’re not even speaking, and we’re on the verge of breaking up over something that, from my perspective, is just a piece of faded ink from a past life.
My question to your readers is: Is he jealous or justified in his feelings?
On one hand, I understand that seeing another man’s name etched permanently on your partner’s body could feel uncomfortable. But on the other hand, am I really required to erase every part of my past before I enter a new relationship? Should I have told him about it earlier? Or is this just insecurity on his part, blown out of proportion?
I’d love to hear what Beautiful Machine readers think. Is my boyfriend right to feel betrayed—or is he letting jealousy sabotage what could be a great relationship?
— Signed, Marked But Moving On
Beautiful Machine’s Take
We believe the gentleman overreacted. What happened to her body before they met is none of his business, and if he truly had strong feelings about the tattoo, he should have approached the situation calmly instead of turning it into a shouting match. A thoughtful conversation could have brought understanding instead of anger. At the end of the day, love is about accepting someone for who they are now—not policing the remnants of who they were before.
But that’s just our opinion. Now we turn it over to you, Beautiful Machine readers: Is this man jealous, or justified?
