By Demetrius Carrington


My life has always been kind of cool. I come from a middle class family and I was a product of a strong marriage.

My Dad was and still is the greatest human being I’ve ever met and the principles and lessons he taught me as a kid still guide me to this day.

My friends and I were all very popular when we were growing up. You ever watch a teen movie where the geeks and weirdoes hated the cool kids? Well, we were the cool kids, but we weren’t bullies, just very cool.

I was 16 when I lost my virginity; it was a big week for me because in a span of a few days I had scored with two separate girls.

From that moment forward sex became very important to me; I think it’s fair to say I was a real horn-dog as a teenager.

Once I moved on my own things really got crazy. I was living downtown and hanging out all the time, so my social life was very action packed.

I was living the dream. I drove a German car, lived on the riverfront, and was making decent money. I didn’t think life could get any better.

When I was around 24 years old I started my concert promotion company and it was an instant success. In my first year of business my company grossed almost two million dollars and we were just getting started.

I was building incredible relationships, both personal and professional. I became friends with Notorious B.I.G. We even had a deal to a movie starring BIG but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

I was meeting all different types of Women from the rich and powerful to the broke and pretending.

These Women were exciting and they were absolutely gorgeous. Because I grew up in a much more conservative manner it was a real culture shock for me. Although I was having fun I never forget who I really was but I was on one hellava ride.

At one time I was dating three different Women. Jamaica was from New York. She was a model who I met at Puff’s White Party in the Hamptons. Dutchess was from Atlanta. I met her at a Mike Tyson fight in Vegas; she owned several women’s shoe stores. Antionia lived in Phoenix, and she was an Attorney.

Then I met this Woman named Tammie who would change everything. She was conservative, didn’t dress overly sexy, was intelligent and had a great heart, and most of all she truly loved me. So I married her.

Looking back I can honestly say I was lucky to have had her as my Wife, but needless to say I fucked the whole thing up.

Now I was single again and back to my old ways, but my marriage had softened me up a bit. I was never disrespectful to Women; I always listened to them and did my best to help them feel good about themselves.

They would tell me some wild stories about stars they slept with, things you wouldn’t believe. I would always try to encourage them to believe in themselves and to not sell themselves short. These conversations probably seemed a bit disingenuous because they would usually happen right after we’d had sex.

After a while I no longer enjoyed meaningless sex and started to crave something more. I knew that this lifestyle was not for me anymore.

I spent the next few years trying to build a meaningful relationship. I wasted the bulk of my time with a woman who has to be the most selfish woman on earth; what a fucking waste of time. I came close with two other Women. Gail was dope! Her job and Educational pursuits pulled her to the other side of the country but it was worth it. She got her PhD and has the job she always wanted. And there was Laurie; one time I did something very nice for her and she looked me right in my eyes lovingly said, “I don’t deserve you”. From that moment I knew I wouldn’t be with her. She was right.

Still single, I noticed things changing; I started saying no to things I would normally say yes to. Sex became less important to me.

I started to really feel differently about women in general. I began to see beauty in all women. I would notice the strength of a single mother. I noticed things about women I never noticed before.

I began advocating for women, imploring my friends to do the right thing by their girlfriends and wives.

I was seeing things differently now. But I had to be honest with myself. For the last two decades my interactions with women were mostly superficial. I literally had to learn how to deal with women all over again.

I made conscious efforts to give prospective mates a glimpse of what life would be like with me. This proved to be costly, because I would come in assuming the role I wanted. If things didn’t work out I’d usually be out of a lot cash and slightly disappointed. That approach didn’t last long.

Then I went through a phase where I was being too nice. A close female friend informed me that I was coming off like I wasn’t really interested. She also told me that I was putting too much pressure on myself.

Then there was the phase when I was trying to “turn a Buick into a Bentley.” She was right, I was a social wreck at this point, I was full of self doubt.

So guess what I did, I went and blew another year of my life with that same girl I mentioned earlier. And of course she played me like a grand piano (again).

So I decided to just chill out, focus on other things, and let love find me.

So after a two year break I met someone. She is the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen. She’s the perfect mix of everything that’s important to me. She has taught me so much about life.

It’s funny the things I dream about these days. I dream about things like what can I do to make her happy, making her wishes and dreams come true, and going to parent teacher conference with her. I dream about seeing her smile. I dream about her in colors that haven’t been invented yet. I sometimes watch her sleep and melt into her beauty. She’s an amazing woman. I truly love her.

It’s really weird. I now see Women as these supreme beings because of her. My appreciation for Women is incredible. Like I stated earlier I’ve always respected Women but now it’s on a whole other level.

With all this love, ironically I don’t feel any pressure. I know who I am now and what I want. So as far as I’m concerned I’ve already won. Right now I’m a happy Man and I’m not in a rush for anything.

I sometimes talk about her with my friend Dave. I secretly think my friends prefer the old me. It was a lot of fun but that guy is dead and gone.

One this particular day after a long rant about how wonderful this woman is, Dave just looked me in my eyes and asked, Man, what happened to you? After a short pause to gather my thoughts I replied,

“I finally grew up!"


Thanks for reading my story.