Stop Playing Yourself and Start Healing Yourself

By Daryl Peirwel

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I have two friends that I just don’t understand; they are both great catches, both smart and successful and have done some remarkable things in their lives.

They’re both single and have a strong desire to be in relationships and this is where things get stupid.
Let’s start with, we’ll call her “Mandy”, she’s really intelligent, has a great career, and is very loving and insanely beautiful. She has the perfect mix of femininity and what it takes for a woman to be respected in the male dominated world of high end finance.

She comes from a great family that had a strong structure and plenty of values. I’ve known Mandy since we were toddles in fact, she’s my Wife’s best friend and we all grew up on the same block so I know her very well.
We often talk about dating and I really don’t understand why she’s single. I personally know several guys that would love to date her but she’s very particular about what she wants. One of the problems as I see it is, the guys she likes don’t appreciate the woman she is.

She’s constantly selling herself to some lame ass guy. Trying to convince them that she’s the loyal type, she can cook; she doesn’t need their money and it goes on and on. It’s ridiculous; here you have this great catch trying to explain to some guy why she’s a great catch! All the while he hasn’t proved a damn thing to her. At this point I told her “she’s playing herself” and it’s downright stupid.

Now for my other friend, we’ll call him “Ed”, actually he’s more like a brother than a friend, he’s the Godfather of my two children, and he is the best friend I’ve ever had so I take everything very personally regarding this guy.

Every since we were kids he’s had excellent communication skills and was very influential. I remember in the fifth grade he lost his spot as a safety boy for bad behavior, he in turn convinced all of us the remaining safety boys to quit and be loyal to him and we did it.

As we got older it was clear that Ed was destined for greatness and it was manifested. He is a very successful entrepreneur and his track record with the ladies is incredible also. I remember I was going through a breakup and he called me and said "let’s go, there a car waiting for you outside. You’re hanging to me this weekend." The flew me out to Phoenix and we talked about life, woman and the future; it was just want I needed, he’s just that type of friend.

But on another hand, I also witnessed him meeting woman after woman with the greatest of ease. I had never seen anyone with ability to connect with women like him. And that summer because of him we made a lot of connections.

Besides all of that he has one of the most unique personalities of any person you’ll ever meet. I can’t really describe it but he can talk to anyone and he has a way of getting you to look at things in a totally different way. He’s funny; he’s charming; really smart and has a great heart.

To be fair, I haven’t met the girl he’s been seeing for over a year now, but I know my friend. When he talks to me about her he’s always selling himself. I once overheard him speaking with her and I was very disappointed. It was like he was trying to convince her that he was good enough. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing; my friend who has lived an incredible life is trying to convince a woman he is good enough. I found this to be a bit sad, he said I love you at least ten times in a five minute conversation, either she didn’t believe him or she doesn’t care that he loves her.

Again, I haven’t met this woman and maybe she is awesome. But without a doubt my friend is an awesome man and he definitely doesn’t have a problem with meeting a woman who would appreciate and love him the way he deserves to be loved.

This leads me to believe that maybe the issue isn’t with the other people maybe the issue is with my two friends.
I know in my marriage counseling I learned I had baggage I never knew I had. I was insecure and I had major trust issues, I never knew any of that. And maybe my friends have some unknown issues as well, it’s the only logical answer.

I also learned that whatever trauma we’ve experienced in our lives doesn’t just go away, it just sits there until we address it. And I think that’s the case with my friends.

So I’m going to speak with them and ask them to stop selling themselves and start healing themselves. Because when you have a wounded soul you’re going to attract a wounded soul and that’s an even bigger problem.

Right now my friends are playing themselves and that’s not good, and if counseling does work I’m going to introduce them to each other AND LET THE SELLING BEGIN.