Russell Wilson Has The Right Idea

By Demetrius Carrington


Recently Russell Wilson made the comment that the thing that scares him the most was if he ever lost his Wife Ciara.
I thought that was a powerful and beautiful statement. Imagine this, he’s handsome, a top tier NFL Quarterback with a net worth of $135,000,000, he’s only 32 years old and the thing that scares him the most is losing his wife, that’s incredible!

But the next day I saw comments alluding to him being weak or saying he should be worrying about football, and the comments went on condemning him for unconditionally loving his wife.

My first reaction was anger. I don’t know anything better then love and if you’re lucky enough to feel that way, to me you’ve hit the jackpot.

But then I started to think, who wouldn’t want this kind of love? And I couldn’t come up with a reasonable answer. But what I do know is, if you never saw this kind of love before or been lucky enough to be loved this way or motivated to offer someone this type of love you probably don’t really understand it.

I don’t know if my Dad was scared to lose my Mom but I’m sure he loved her, he made sure she was taken care of and did his best to make sure we all had opportunities and lots of love in our lives. Although my biggest fear is different than Mr. Wilson I totally relate to him and I’m happy for him and his wife.

What I’ve learned is in order to achieve this love type it takes sacrifice, courage and a willingness to be vulnerable.
I’m sure Mr. Wilson knew when he made that statement that he would face some ridicule. We live in a world that is full of toxic masculinity. Some men don’t know how to love and some women don’t know how to be loved. Most of this stems from unresolved trauma we may not even know we have.

The fact is, we mostly know what our parents taught us about love and relationships through their actions. Unfortunately, for my Dad and his eleven siblings life was very difficult. They were dirt poor and my Granddad wasn’t always the nicest man, but you have to understand his life and what he saw growing up. As a Black Man at my Granddad’s age, his biggest goal was trying to survive racist America; I can’t even imagine what his life was like for him growing up in the South. Now take a moment and think about his Dad’s life, now think his Dad, he was probably enslaved, but it’s not just Black People, we’re all products of our environments and generational trauma that needs to be broken.

I was lucky, my Dad and his siblings understood that it had to be a better way of life. So they made the sacrifices that were necessary to break the cycle of generational trauma and they went on to live great lives.

It seems that Mr. Wilson has been able to overcome whatever his trauma may have been also, think about all the sacrifices it took for him to become a Super Bowl winning Quarterback. The courage it took to play injured and the willingness to be vulnerable enough to tell the whole world his biggest fear is losing his wife.

Love is our biggest asset, self-love; love for our families; loving what we do for a living; love for the planet; love for our fellow man. Once we truly realize that love is the key to success, our lives will change for the better.

Mr. Wilson is a winner! I can’t wait until I can share that type of love with someone, it's truly a beautiful thing.

Until then, I’m going to keep loving myself and being the best I can be.

Mr. Wilson you have the right idea, thank you.