In This Jealous or Justified, I think I lost my Girlfriend...

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So my girl and I have been together a few years. I say my girl because as far as I’m concerned she is. We agreed early on that we wouldn’t label each other. I told her labels complicate things and I didn’t believe in them. She was on board with that. Well,until recently.

We went out one night and asked me the legendary, “So, what are we doing?” I had no problem with her asking, but when we had the conversation, I gently reminded her of our agreement and how things were working so well and that I didn’t want to mess things up now. She told me that she loved me and that she felt we were good to take it to the next level. She was more adamant than before and kept urging that if I loved her the way I proclaimed, it should be probable to claim me as such. After some gentle coercing and amazing sex, she was back on board. Only, the next day she started to act differently. She was a little colder towards me, a little dismissive, and more secretive. She changed the privacy settings on her phone, she was vague about her whereabouts, and she started hanging with new friends.

We got into a bad argument one night. She stormed out of my place and burned rubber up the street. We were on the phone going at it again and halfway through the conversation she shut me down and rushed me off the phone. First I was fuming, then I realized that I was being an ass and I had to apologize. I called and called but got no answer. I had a terrible feeling in my gut so I got in my car and went over to her place. I sat outside for a while trying to gather my words, and then it happened. Her front door opened and another man walked out. I was floored. I’d been calling her for over an hour and now I knew why she wasn’t answering. I was furious and hurt. Her having company over at her house wasn’t a problem, but it was 3AM and I knew only one thing happened during those hours. After the dude drove away, I immediately stormed up to her door and demanded to be let in. When she opened the door I stormed in and demanded answers. After a bit of back and forth, she asked me what right I had to be in her place questioning her and showing up unannounced. She said we weren’t together. We weren’t in a relationship and she was free to do what she wanted with whoever she wanted. She reminded me that she was single. And you know what? She Was Right. I tell her that often. Through a cracked voice and teary eyes she told me to go home. I protested because I felt like she owed me answers. We had an agreement at the very least and if she was going to start things with someone else she could’ve at least told me. I didn’t want to but I eventually left.

The next day, I felt like an idiot. I tried to call and apologize but she didn’t answer. Eventually she texted me back and told me she apologized for being harsh, but that she meant what she said. She told me her and dude were just friends. I asked if I could come over so we could talk, but she declined. She said that we wanted different things and that it may be best if we took some time away from each other. I called her back to back to no avail. I checked her social media and I was blocked everywhere. The next few days were torture. After about a week of no contact I couldn’t do it anymore. I loved this girl and I had to let her know. I was upset, but I felt like we could work things out. I got in my car and just headed over. I didn’t even know what I was going to say but I thought the words would come to me when I saw her. I was coming down the street and noticed a familiar car parked out front. Before I could figure out where I’d seen it, the same dude jumped out and walked up to her door. I stopped a few doors down but was just close enough to see her beam up at him and throw her arms around his neck before she let him in. A million thoughts ran through my mind. I figured bursting in would make her upset with me again, so ultimately I decided to leave. If they are just friends, why are they spending so much time together? Is she replacing me already? Is she over me? Did I blow things with her? Do I have a chance to get her back? How?

Am I Jealous Or Justified??

Jealous Or Justified
Jealous
Justified