In this Jealous or Justified, "do I stay with the girl I got pregnant or follow my heart to be with another woman?"


“Jealous or Justified is a monthly segment where we ask our readers to analyze the situation of someone who has asked for our help to see if the person is being Jealous or are they Justified in feeling the way they feel.

Please keep in mind that the term “Jealous” can mean many things in the context of this segment.It doesn’t and won’t always mean jealous in its true meaning. Perhaps the person is just in their feeling a bit too much.

I was never in a real “relationship” with Cassie, but I need some help.

When I met her we clicked right away. she’s smart, beautiful, can hold a conversation and we shared many common interests. We talked all the time, hung out and became very comfortable with each other.

She started confiding in me often, she told me she had a bad break up that put her off men/relationships and said she didn’t want anything serious with anyone but said she missed the companionship. I guess our talks were filling a void for her.

Eventually our talks got more intimate and texting turned into sexting. This girl was beautiful and her body is literally perfect. I never pressed for the pictures, but I never asked her to stop either and she appreciated the praise I always gave her.

She said she missed being called beautiful, sexy. It was easy for me as there was no denying she was beautiful inside and out.

Eventually things slowed down between us. She didn’t send me as many pictures. I’d send her flirtatious messages and she’d reply flatly. I could tell something was off. She finally told me that what we were doing was fun, she enjoyed it and our friendship but she felt we should stop. She said she still wasn’t sure she was ready to be romantically involved with anyone, but she knew her "Mr. Right" wouldn’t find her with us carrying on this way.

I was bummed out but I respected her wishes. We still talked everyday and hung out, but just as friends. She’s very honest with me and has told me about other guys who have tried to court her. But I don’t want her to be with anyone else. I know I have no business being upset about it but I am; though I try to conceal it.

I know you’re wondering why I haven’t confessed my love to this girl. Well, she wasn’t the only one I was seeing. There was also, Vanessa. Vanessa and I have always been casual and it’s worked for us, but now, she’s pregnant.

Vanessa admitted that becoming a mother terrifies her, but she’s totally against termination. We’ve never discussed the possibility of this happening or what we’d do but now that we’re here I feel an obligation to stay with her.

I feel terrible though because while I love Vanessa as a person and friend, this relationship isn’t where my heart is. I know I can’t just abandon her, but I feel like I’d be cheating myself if I just let Cassie slip through my fingers.

I would be a fool to just let her walk away from me, right? But what kind of man would I be to abandon a woman who is pregnant with his child?

Wouldn’t I also be doing Vanessa a disservice by staying with her knowing I could never love her the way she wants or deserves? What about my friendship with Cassie? If I confess to her and she rejects me, this could end all of that. I just don’t think I could bear to see her with another guy.

Jealous or Justified I need your Help, who should I stay with, Cassie or Vanessa?

who should I stay with, Cassie or Vanessa?
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