In this ask Dr. Sabrina, "should I forgive my husband and sister for cheating?"


Dear Dr. Sabrina:

I am writing because I am simply tired of the drama and negativity that I deal with because of the actions of my husband and sister. I have heard you say on several occasions that "forgiveness is for you not the other person" and every time I have heard it I become enraged. You see, I feel as though I am dealing with the UNFORGIVABLE!!

I have a younger sister who I loved with all my heart, however she started to hangout with very bad people and got hooked on drugs. This led me to not being able to sleep, as I was so worried about her all the time. We went several months not knowing where she was or if she was even alive. I finally got a tip that she was at this drug house and I begged my husband and his friends to go get her.

Well, my husband of 12 years and the father of my 4 children found her and some how decided to leave me for her.

Yes, my husband never returned home to our life and instead built a life with my “real” sister. They have never gotten married however they did have a son. I must be honest, I have been so angry about the situation that I have prevented my children from seeing their father, aunt and sibling.

Now, the children are all over 18 and have developed their own relationships. Our mother is turning 95 in January and she has asked for all of her children and grandchildren attend her birthday dinner. I want to get to the place of forgiveness because, I do love my sister but am just so hurt. I want to know, should I attempt forgiveness and attend the celebration for my Mom?

Help me Dr. Sabrina as this has been so hard for so long!

- Dealing with the Unforgivable

Should I attempt forgiveness and attend the celebration for my Mom?

Yes, it's time to forgive.

No, what was done to you is horrible!

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