Do you have Real Friends?

By Staff


I recently saw a video of two friends swimming in a lake. They were frantically swimming because an alligator was in hot pursuit of the two swimmers.

One of the swimmers was clearly in better physical shape than the other and made it to the shore safely while his buddy struggled to make it out of the water. But instead of being content with preserving himself, his focused turned to his struggling friend who was in imminent danger. As the gator closed in on his friend this guy jumped back into the water to distract the alligator. It's safe to say he saved his friends life.

This got me thinking, what's a real friend, and how do you know if you have real friends? I believe everyone has the right define what true friendship means to them and you certainly don’t have to risk your life to be a true friend. But the following is what true friendship means to me.

A real friend doesn't always tell you yes.

Recently, I asked a friend to lend me one hundred dollars for about two hours until I could get to my wallet. I didn't think that would be a big deal. But she said no. My first reaction was wow; it’s only a hundred dollars that's crazy. Then she explained that money has caused a strain in some past friendships, and she has a rule of not mixing friendship and money unless it was really important. Then she went on to explain that our friendship was just too important for her to risk it over money. I totally understood her and knowing that she wasn't interested in risking our friendship actually made us even better friends.

A real friend will end the friendship to save you from yourself.

I've had to walk away from friendships. I've had friends who were abusing drugs or drinking excessively and some even engaging in criminal activity, after repeated pleas for them to stop their destructive behavior. My love for them wouldn't allow me to watch while they destroy their lives. Hopefully, the lost of our friendship could be the catalyst for them to make a change.

The bond between true friends is never broken.

I have friends that for no particular reason. I don’t get to see very much. Our lives and responsibilities keeps us so busy that the opportunity to see each other just isn’t there. But when we hangout or speak it's just like old times. We laugh, we reminisce it’s like we haven’t missed a beat. It’s just true friendship.

True friends never tell each other's secrets.

I'm guilty of sharing with my wife some of my friend’s personal business. We all do it, let's just call it "pillow talk," but that's where it's stops for me. If you are the kind of person that would tell your friends secrets you are not a good friend at all. And that always comes back to haunt you.

True friends are happy for each other, never jealous.

I look at Oprah and her friend Gail and I see love and true friendship. Oprah has even said that Gail has never acted jealous or anything like that. Oprah said that Gail has only mentioned money one time in the whole relationship. It’s was when Oprah was but to purchase a fifty million dollar house. She said Gail said "are you sure about this girl?" Oprah said she laughed and said yes.

The universe has a way of rewarding good and bad intentions. Gail is now a star in her own right and is financially set as well. On the other hand you have Kevin Hart who's "friend" tried to extort him for money in exchange for not exposing his infidelity. The universe rewarded him with criminal prosecution.

A true friend will never let someone speak badly of you to them.

A critical part of friendship is loyalty. If you engage in negative conversations about your friends, you are not a real friend. Real friends defend each other, they never tear each down.