Are you a Toxic Person?

By The Healthy Archive


At some point in our lives, we all have to deal with toxic people. You'll get many things from toxic people - requests, claims, reproach - but there's one thing you'll never receive: an apology. Even if they say the words, there's always an ulterior motive behind them. They're either trying to take advantage of you, to manipulate you, or to squeeze out just another favor from you. They'll never apologize, or admit when they've made a mistake. Even if the proof is right there, they'll blame it on someone else and play the victim.

Why can't toxic people take responsibility for their mistakes? After all, we all make mistakes. It's in our nature, we're not perfect. Well, these people disagree. They ARE perfect. They genuinely feel they can't be wrong. And when the facts are there and there's obvious proof of their mistake, the 'coming up with excuses' game begins. It's your fault, for forcing them to make a mistake. It's the Universe. If the conditions would have been proper, they would have NEVER made a mistake. It's always someone else's fault. You caught them cheating? It's your fault, for not being adventurous enough in the bedroom. Or the lover's fault for forcing them to cheat on you. Or the alcohol. Them? Never. And since it isn't their fault, they never apologize.

You can try to call them up on their mistakes, but you might regret it, as in the end, you'll be the one apologizing. You can't reason with toxic people, as they'll manipulate you and make you feel guilty. How could you blame them for something (they did), after everything they've done for you? How ungrateful can you be? And now that this happens and it wasn't even their fault, you react this way? Especially since it was your behavior that led to this?

Don't even try. Toxic people can't admit to their mistakes, as they won't even reflect on what they've done. In their (not at all humble) opinion, there's nothing to reflect upon, as they couldn't have been wrong, as they are perfect. End of story. If something did go wrong, it is probably someone else's fault, and they should be RECEIVING an apology for their distress.

It's very difficult to love a toxic person. You have to be a little bit insane to do it, especially on the long run. It's all beautiful in the beginning, because their confidence is attractive. But once you get to know them better, it's so exhausting. You need a lot of energy to keep up with these people, and as a reward, you will apologize for all their mistakes.

They can't grow, change, or improve themselves, for the simple reason that in their opinion, they already are perfect. They are the best. The smartest, the best looking, the funniest, and the most successful. Don't you dare point out that they've put some weight on, because you already know whose fault that is. Don't you dare say they could get a better paid job, because it's you who's to blame. You're the one dragging them down. They specifically chose this job so they could spend more time with you, and in return, you complain? When you should be apologizing?

If this type of behavior sounds familiar, walk away. You're probably hoping they'll change, but they won't. Ever. They don't have to, because they already are perfect. So walk away. They'll try to guilt you into staying. They'll make you feel bad about it. But that will end as soon as they find another person to manipulate. Let them be and invest your precious time and energy elsewhere. They're not worth it.

Originally Published Here