7 Reasons Why Dating an Older Man is Low-Key Awesome

By Courtney Stars


This year I ended 12 year marriage to a man I met when I was 21 years old and still in school. With so many years out of the game, I had no clue what the dating world had in store for me. But what I did know, was that my gut was telling me to pay attention to older men. Close attention.

After a shitty, 6-months-too-long-relationship with a man about 5 years my senior(but 15 years younger in terms of maturity), I was just about to give up on men, dating and swiping right all together.

But there was a man who I’d known for decades whose image often crept into my thoughts followed by a dreamy “I wonder...” He was older than me by a good decade plus, and I have always been very fond of him. We were introduced as peers, and our age difference never had an impact on our friendship.

Well, I finally ended up becoming more-than-friends with this gentleman and let’s just say, it was a damn good decision. Here are a few of the reasons why dating an older man is low-key amazing.

Older Men Know What the Want…And What They Don’t

If you’re dating an older man, they know exactly who they are and what they want. After the failed marriages and relationships many of us endure in our 30s and 40s, older men have lived and learned from their experiences. Hopefully, they have taken a close look at what went wrong in their previous relationships. And they arm themselves with that important insight when deciding who they want to date in the present.

Older Men Have Accumulated More Hours of Studying Women

Aspiring pilots need a certain number of flight hours before they can get their license to fly. And older men have more flight hours under their belts than their younger counterparts. And apparently that 10–15 years of practice makes quite the difference. Both physically and emotionally.

I also think there is just a certain level of comfortable confidence that comes with age for people of any gender. When it’s genuine, that steady, self-assured vibe comes without the insecurity-laced bravado you get from some younger men.

Older Men Take Their Time…With Everything

When a man is older, they often take a little more time getting to the grand finale. And for their partner, that just means more time spent on you. Slow, careful, attentive, quality time…Hell yes to that.

Older men also begin to seek a more romantic, emotional connection in bed — not just a physical one. Once a man is older and has had enough sex to realize that it isn’t the be all end all, he begins to seek that connection that so many women have always wanted. I’ve been told my more than one older man that a physical connection is not enough to keep a man interested after a certain age. It just isn’t.

Life is short, but wisdom tells us there are some things that just shouldn’t be rushed. And intimacy is definitely one of those things.

Older Men Love Your Joie de Vivre

Let’s be honest: there’s a reason the older man-younger woman trope is a thing. Younger women can be just plain fun for an older man.

I love it when I catch my man looking at me doing some silly. Or when he asks me to play DJ in the car because I know all of the new tunes. Or when he makes me laugh way too loud. Being the younger, vibrant member of the couple is refreshing.

Bonus: You don’t run the risk of filling a caretaker void. Find a man who can find stuff in his house and pack his own bag for vacation.

Older Men Don’t Play Games

My mother always says that you should never let a man tell her that he doesn’t want you more than once. After my last few relationships, it’s comforting to know that my man is exactly where he wants to be. I also know that if he didn’t want to be there, that he wouldn’t be. And I wouldn’t want him to stick around if he isn’t satisfied with our relationship. Ain’t nobody got time for dat.

Older men are also very open with communication. A level of humility and self-awareness develops that allows for a man to drop the facade and be honest as hell. A relationship that is super open and honest from the get-go has a much higher likelihood of thriving.

Older Men Give Good Advice

No one likes a mansplainer. But I find it MUCH more tolerable to take advice and guidance from my older man than I did from my ex-husband who was close to my age. With age comes experience and maturity. That’s just the truth for any person. In the context of a relationship, it feels much better to take advice from someone with more life-experience than from someone who is figuring this shit out just like you are.

Older Men Are Sexy AF

Gray hair at the temples. Lines around the eyes when they smile. That gray in the beard. Amazing eye-contact. I just find older men sexy as hell. Full stop.

For me, dating someone older has been a truly pleasurable experience. And while I’m fully aware that I making some generalizations, I do think that giving older men a look could turn out well for other women too.

Originally Published
: https://medium.com/the-second-act/4-reasons-why-dating-an-older-man-is-low-key-awesome-546161a2b9cb