10 Signs That He Values You

By Matthew Coast


What are the signs that a man values you?

How do you know if a man is really into you? You know, actually in love with you and not just stringing you along for a little bit of excitement and romance?

Easy answer: he doesn’t just like you. He doesn’t just say he loves you. He values you.

What does it mean to value someone? How is valuing someone different than “loving” someone? Or liking someone, for that matter?

In this discussion, we’re going to discuss the difference and then talk about 10 signs that show your guy really values you.

Whether your guy is a fiance, a boyfriend, or just a crush, for now, you will find that these signs apply almost universally.

1. He is always there to listen. Even at the worst time.

A man who values you will always make time to listen. It’s not always convenient for him, but he also knows you need his attention and you need his comforting reassurance. A man in lust or in like may not always have the time. But a man who values you always has an ear for the woman he loves.

2. He never makes you sad-cry. Only happy tears!

A man can love you and yet still break your heart. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship like that. If not, then I hope you never have to endure such a thing. But a man who values you works hard to make you happy. He is motivated by the desire to please you and not hurt your feelings. The end result is that you cry from happy tears, tears of joy.

3. He always gives you the attention you crave.

A man who just likes you will give you only enough attention so that he gets something out of it. If he wants sex, or is lonely, he’s investing just enough time so that he gets some benefit. A man who values you will give you more of his time, more effort, and all the attention you want. He’s in this to “win it”, you might say. He wants to go that much farther than other guys who will only do so much. That’s what it means “to value!”

4. He draws you out in conversation.

It’s difficult to draw someone out in conversation. Particularly, if the other person is defensive or guarded. But a man who’s really in love, makes it a point to hear your thoughts and discover your feelings. It’s not enough to get just the responses that he wants. It’s not enough to get assurances. He draws you out because he wants to know what you’re thinking. He’s in love with your mind and the interaction that you give him.

5. He makes it a point to surprise you.

A man who still puts forth the effort to surprise you – even if he’s already in a relationship with you – is a man who truly cares. He’s not content to just do the bare minimum. He goes the extra mile just to surprise you, just to put a smile on your face, and get a sincere laugh. That’s a man who’s special – someone who still gets joy from making you happy!

6. He supports all of your goals, dreams, and ambitions.

It’s a rather disturbing thought when you realize that a lot of men that “love you” will not necessarily support your dreams and goals in life. He may think your dreams are too far-fetched. Or he may discourage you from reaching out and doing what makes you feel happy and successful.

This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you…but it does mean he doesn’t value you as much as he should. A real man in love is not threatened by who his partner wants to be. He doesn’t hinder her goals. He doesn’t compete or squash those dreams. He is ready to help her realize all those dreams because that’s what a team does.

7. He always includes you in plans – big or small.

It seems like a small thing, but it’s actually a huge deal! If he wants to include you in plans, that means he’s making room for you in his life. You’re not just a distraction or an adventure he wants when he has time. He wants to build his life around you. That’s very telling and should give you a vote of confidence.

8. He doesn’t lie to you – he doesn’t have to.

I’ve never really bought into the notion that “all men lie.” Some might. But the vast majority see no reason to lie, especially about big things, but even about little things. It serves no purpose to lie, even if it saves you from temporary conflict or embarrassment.

9. You are always beautiful to him – always.

Most guys will tell you that you’re beautiful under the moon light, or at the beginning of a wonderful date. But how about telling you that first thing in the morning? When you’re sick? When you’re feeling sad? When you’re just lounging around watching TV? That’s the kind of man that’s truly in love with the essence of you – everything you are. And and will stay in love for a lifetime.

10. He is the first one to commit.

The simple truth is that a man who stalls or resists commitment is just not that into you. He might like you, and might even love you. But he doesn’t value you enough. He doesn’t seem to feel the risk of losing you as much as he should. He’s still weighing all his options and that shows that there might be something or someone else he values more. And that’s dangerous territory.

In the end, you want a man that loves you and values you – he demonstrates his love well beyond just words.

In conclusion, remember that there is a big difference between being valued by a man and merely being loved. Men all speak different love languages. What they “like” is fleeting and fluctuating.

But what does your man value? What a man values is what he truly wants, needs, and seeks out. When a man values you, and centers his life around making you happy, that’s when you know you’ve met the Right One – the man you’re “destined” to marry.

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